I need help creating, tweaking, rewriting, and rewriting again the perfect logline for The Vortex.
The screenplay is based on the first three books of the Cryptozoology Series: Within Emerald Forests, Under Sapphire Skies and Beneath Diamond Waters.
Here are the two leading loglines:
- After three siblings are dropped off at their aunt and uncle’s for the summer, the oldest sister must rescue her siblings when the cryptozoological vortex opens and her brother is kidnapped by a maternal Bigfoot and a kelpie offers her sister as a sacrifice to a dangerous sea monster.
- With fears of spending a long and boring summer with their slightly eccentric aunt and uncle, Addeline, Fiona and Ian end up experiencing an extraordinary adventure in an amazing cryptozoological vortex complete with the Florida Skunk Ape, mermaids, and a hornless unicorn.
Please let me know either which you prefer or create your own – I’d love to know how you’d describe the series!
Heather Hamel 
I like #2 better.
Dad
Here’s an alternate (based on #2) to consider:
“Addeline, Fiona and Ian are convinced they’re in for a long and boring summer with their slightly eccentric aunt and uncle. Little do they know they couldn’t be more wrong. Experience their extraordinary adventure in an amazing cryptozoological vortex complete with the Florida Skunk Ape, mermaids, and a hornless unicorn. A dull summer? Not even a little.”
I like the second
Have a great day! Anna
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