Help!

I need help creating, tweaking, rewriting, and rewriting again the perfect logline for The Vortex.

The screenplay is based on the first three books of the Cryptozoology Series: Within Emerald Forests, Under Sapphire Skies and Beneath Diamond Waters.

 

 

Here are the two leading loglines:

  1. After three siblings are dropped off at their aunt and uncle’s for the summer, the oldest sister must rescue her siblings when the cryptozoological vortex opens and her brother is kidnapped by a maternal Bigfoot and a kelpie offers her sister as a sacrifice to a dangerous sea monster.
  2.  With fears of spending a long and boring summer with their slightly eccentric aunt and uncle, Addeline, Fiona and Ian end up experiencing an extraordinary adventure in an amazing cryptozoological vortex complete with the Florida Skunk Ape, mermaids, and a hornless unicorn.

Please let me know either which you prefer or create your own – I’d love to know how you’d describe the series!

 

 

 

About Heather Hamel

Growing up with horses is a little girls dream come true. Heather’s dream in life was to be a horse trainer - how dreams change - sort of! She moved to the wonderfully historic town of St. Augustine, Florida and was a historic tour guide and a ghost story teller while putting herself through college to become a special education teacher. After graduating, she felt the pull of horses in her life again. That's when she met Kobi! She learned quickly that when you own horses you become a part time vet, part time nutritionist, and full time equestrian. She wouldn't change a thing! In addition to being completely obsessed with her herd, she still teaches and tutors students with learning disabilities, and more specifically, dyslexia.
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3 Responses to Help!

  1. John Hamel says:

    I like #2 better.
    Dad

  2. susanmbird says:

    Here’s an alternate (based on #2) to consider:

    “Addeline, Fiona and Ian are convinced they’re in for a long and boring summer with their slightly eccentric aunt and uncle. Little do they know they couldn’t be more wrong. Experience their extraordinary adventure in an amazing cryptozoological vortex complete with the Florida Skunk Ape, mermaids, and a hornless unicorn. A dull summer? Not even a little.”

  3. Anna Hamel says:

    I like the second

    Have a great day! Anna

    >

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