Need Help Again – Query Letter

Alright my village – I’m having problems with the clarity of my query letter….I think I’m too close to the subject – tell me what you think and what YOU need clarified. Especially for those who haven’t read the series…yet!

The Vortex is about 14-year-old Addeline who must rescue her brother, Ian, from the Florida swamp when he disappears and her sister, Fiona, after she’s kidnapped by a kelpie when their parents leave the country and the children realize they are trapped in a cryptozoological vortex with Aunt Tabitha and Uncle Buster.

Addeline must find the fabled unicorn horn to save them and reunite the family. After Aunt Tabitha and Uncle Buster are poisoned by goblins and left unconscious, Addeline secures the horn, but a changeling from the Fairy Realm threatens to destroy all the plans that she has set into motion. Now, with time running out, Addeline must rescue Ian from the Skunk Ape, and then save Fiona from becoming a mermaid.

As always thanks to my brilliant village – it takes one to sell a screenplay!

 

About Heather Hamel

Growing up with horses is a little girls dream come true. Heather’s dream in life was to be a horse trainer - how dreams change - sort of! She moved to the wonderfully historic town of St. Augustine, Florida and was a historic tour guide and a ghost story teller while putting herself through college to become a special education teacher. After graduating, she felt the pull of horses in her life again. That's when she met Kobi! She learned quickly that when you own horses you become a part time vet, part time nutritionist, and full time equestrian. She wouldn't change a thing! In addition to being completely obsessed with her herd, she still teaches and tutors students with learning disabilities, and more specifically, dyslexia.
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2 Responses to Need Help Again – Query Letter

  1. Anna Hamel says:

    The term cryptozoological vortex is the most difficult for me. Maybe something that defines it like a mysterious place where mythical creatures are real

    Have a great day! Anna

    >

  2. Summer says:

    I think it’s very literal. I’m thinking more words to capture the audience. More mystery to intrigue them!

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