Called Out

It’s not going to come to a shock to anyone to hear me say that I’m still grieving for Jake.  He was by no means the best horse around or even the easiest horse to deal with most days, but he had such a gentle soul and needed rescuing, so Les brought him home.

Memories are funny things.  I know that Les and I both came down from his 16.3 body while riding, I know Les and I lost lots of sleep (and money) trying to treat his canker, and I’ll never forget the night he lost his mind and kicked me in the head.  But when he died, none of those things mattered anymore.  I just remember his kind eyes and gentle nature.

Jake 5

I’ll be the first one to admit I rushed into getting another horse after Jake died.  I realize now it probably wasn’t the best thing for me but now I need to put on ‘my big girl britches and deal with it’.

I’m too harsh with Sugar on most things.  As my dear friend, Toni, pointed out to me today I resent Sugar for the simple fact that she’s not Jake.  WOW!  It always stings a little when friends call you out on your failings…but she’s right (of course).  I’m not being fair and have never given Sugar a fair shot at her rightful place in my herd.

It’s never to late to turn over a new leaf – put the past (and Jake) behind me and live in the now (with Sugar).

I can’t make any promises…but at least I’m aware of how out of touch I’ve been for the last two years.

Luke Sugar

About Heather Hamel

Growing up with horses is a little girls dream come true. Heather’s dream in life was to be a horse trainer - how dreams change - sort of! She moved to the wonderfully historic town of St. Augustine, Florida and was a historic tour guide and a ghost story teller while putting herself through college to become a special education teacher. After graduating, she felt the pull of horses in her life again. That's when she met Kobi! She learned quickly that when you own horses you become a part time vet, part time nutritionist, and full time equestrian. She wouldn't change a thing! In addition to being completely obsessed with her herd, she still teaches and tutors students with learning disabilities, and more specifically, dyslexia.
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5 Responses to Called Out

  1. John Hamel says:

    jake was very special to all of us, but he meant more to you and Les. it doesn’t have to be either/or. You can still love Sugar and Jake. We all know that Kobi is in a class by himself.

  2. Mom says:

    Wow reality has finally set in. Kudos to Tony to be brave enough to tell you like it is and still keep your friendship. Shes very astute to recognize that feeling and nail it on the head. I guess that’s what four years of college can do for a person. I’m glad you have Tony to keep you grounded.

  3. Roy says:

    Food for thought:

    “She needs a new journal. The one she has is problematic. To get to the present, she needs to page through the past, and when she does, she remembers things, and her new journal entries become, for the most part, reactions to the days she regrets, wants to correct, rewrite.” ― Dave Eggers, How the Water Feels to the Fishes

    “Gratitude looks to the Past and love to the Present.” ― C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters

    “Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

  4. Julia Frederick says:

    It’s OK, Heather. Many people do that with their beloved dogs, cats, and significant others. Sugar no doubt is a forgiving soul. You’ll probably be surprised how much headway you can make – they forgive and forget prettily easily, you know.

  5. Bonnie A. Holtz says:

    I am so sad about Jake, I never had the honor of meeting him, yet felt through you I did know him. Take care, and bless you for caring for Jake. Love Aunt Bonnie


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